I love Pokemon TCG Pocket for one reason and one reason only: collecting pretty cards. In order to do that, though, I have to engage with the game’s other aspects. I’ve played over 150 battles by this point, forced to engage with the coin-flip mechanics because I want that flipping Venusaur ex card.
Despite being 0-25 in my search for Venusaur, I try to eke whatever semblance of enjoyment I can from Pocket’s battle system. If I come up against constant meta decks of Mewtwo ex, I switch to my Team Rocket themed deck, which is surprisingly effective against the game’s MVP. I make decks based on my favourite types, based solely on coin flipping if I’m feeling lucky, and to showcase the coolest cards in my collection.
If I ever want to battle for fun (unlikely, I know, but sometimes I need to complete that daily challenge somehow), I jump into the noex queue, which is surprisingly effective.
Flexing My Exes
I’ve got a flexing problem, though. Instead of building effective decks, I’ve started playing with my best-looking cards. I love the full art Meowth, even if it’s functionally useless. Full art Gyarados? Decked it. And you bet I’ve built a deck around Mew. Just… Mew.
I need that stunning full art Alakazam to build a deck around. I missed it in a Wonder Pick just yesterday.
At least my Dragonite deck was actually fun and had a decent win rate. But my flexing problem goes further than this. It affects how I play matches, too.
If I’m in a match and top deck my full art Sabrina, I’ll play it. Immediately. Sometimes I can hold on a turn or two, but I’ve fully thrown matches because I’ve wanted to play Sabrina and show off to my opponent that I pulled such a coveted card. It’s not even a real card, and I’m sure my opponent has cool cards in their collection that I’m missing. But I need them to see that I’m playing stylishly, not competitively.
To tell the truth, they’re probably just sat on the bog muttering about what an idiot I am before evolving their Kirlia into a Gardevoir for the second time this match. Nobody cares, and I don’t care if they care, but I care. Look at my cool cards, please.
Who Flexes On AI?
However, during the recent Venusaur ex event, my problem got even worse. I started toxically flexing. On AI.
I know, you’re letting out a sigh of disappointment, but when my pulls look like mine, you’d show off to a computer program, too. You gave me 12 Haunter, you deserve to get dunked on, game.
So I load up my immersive rare Charizard ex with plenty of energy – usually at least six – and start burning. But on the last turn, usually when faced with an unevolved Petilil or Bulbasaur, things go bad. I play Giovanni to boost my damage from 220 to 230 on this poor, 60HP Pokemon. I play X Speed to show the computer that I could switch if I want to. I sometimes throw down Poke Balls despite the fact I’ve already pulled all my basics from my deck. Potions are a necessity. The computer must know how thoroughly it has been beaten.
This hasn’t leaked into my PvP play, but I’m worried it will. A little unnecessary Giovanni here, a Sabrina flexing there. So I wanted to apologise. If you ever face me in battle and I flex on you, I’m truly sorry. I’m preemptively sorry. Please feel free to flex on me before I get the chance. Show me your coolest cards, prove that you had redundancies in hand. I want to see your style, too.
My only saving grace is that, even though I’m a delinquent who flexes on the AI, at least I’ve never played Mewtwo ex. And I never, ever run down the clock if I’m about to lose.
Next