Times Video Game Protagonists Failed At Everyday Tasks

Video game protagonists are often depicted as extraordinarily skilled individuals capable of saving the world, whether through martial arts, magic, or scientific genius. Yet, amid their grand adventures and heroic feats, they struggle with surprisingly mundane tasks.

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Consider a character who has spent years honing their magical abilities or mastering the art of swordplay. While they might be adept at defeating powerful foes or solving intricate puzzles, they can barely manage simple everyday tasks like counting or making a sandwich. Who has time for adulting when the world’s future is at stake?

10

Noctis Won’t Close His Car Door

Final Fantasy 15

Final Fantasy XV could easily be called Final Fantasy: The Road Trip. In their quest to save Eos from Ardyn’s dark designs, Noctis, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto take to the open road in their beloved Regalia. That is, when they aren’t out fishing, racing chocobos, or hunting down elusive frogs. With all the miles these bros clock together, you’d think Noctis would have picked up the habit of, say, closing his car door.

But alas, every time they stop, Noctis hops out, leaving his door wide open, leaving Ignis to close it for him. Ignis is probably too focused on the monumental task of getting Noctis to eat his vegetables to tackle the door problem… one challenge at a time!

9

Frogger Has Selective Swimming Abilities

Frogger: He’s Back!

• Platforms: PlayStation, Windows
• Released: October 31, 1997
• Genre: Action

Characters’ inability to swim is a common trope in video games. It’s a game mechanic that helps developers keep their players contained within specific areas of the map or add additional challenges. It’s generally understandable, until you encounter a character who, by all rights, should be able to swim.

Take the classic arcade game Frogger, for example… a frog, no less! As an amphibian with webbed feet and a history of tadpole swimming skills, Frogger should feel right at home in the water. Yet, while attempting to cross the street, Frogger mysteriously loses this innate ability, dying instantly upon touching the water. It’s baffling to see a frog meet such an untimely end in a puddle. Perhaps the road water is polluted beyond safe swimming levels? Either way, it’s a strange fate for a frog.

8

The Traveler Can’t Put On A Coat

Genshin Impact

The Traveler explores every corner of Teyvat alongside Paimon, journeying from the shimmering depths of Fontaine to the scorching sands of Sumeru’s deserts. Yet, one of the most unforgiving places they face is Dragonspine in Mondstadt. With the skeletal remains of the dragon Durin embedded in its icy cliffs, Dragonspine is so cold that staying away from heat sources for too long drains HP and leads to certain death.

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Characters braving the harsh climate of Dragonspine all lament the bone-chilling temperatures, yet not one, including the ever-resourceful Traveler, considers anything beyond eating copious amounts of Goulash to stave off the cold. Somehow, bundling up in a cozy winter coat or even strapping on a pair of sturdy snow boots never crosses anyone’s mind. No, it’s much better to run from hot spot to hot spot instead.

7

Geralt Can’t Climb Over A Wood Pile

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Geralt of Rivia, the famed witcher, is the epitome of a monster-slaying legend. His legendary training and enhanced physiology have gifted him with superhuman strength, keen senses, and unmatched swordsmanship, allowing him to take down beasts and villains alike. But for all his abilities, there’s one thing Geralt seems inexplicably bad at: climbing over small obstacles.

Above board, we know that these knee-high barriers serve as invisible walls, helping to guide you along the intended path. Still, it’s hilariously frustrating when you find Geralt brought to a standstill by a small pile of wood or a low fence, forced to run in place as if he’s met his match in landscaping rather than a mythical creature.

6

Lloyd Can’t Make A Sandwich

Tales Of Symphonia Remastered

Like all Tales of games, Tales of Symphonia features a cooking mechanic that allows you to create items for healing or buffs. However, not every character is equally skilled in the kitchen. Some, like Genis, can effortlessly whip up a five-star meal, while others would be lucky to pour out a bowl of cereal.

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The game’s protagonist, Lloyd Irving, may not be the worst chef in the group (that honor goes to Raine), but he definitely needs a lot of practice. Characters won’t always successfully cook their meals, and the more practice they get, the better their odds of producing something tasty. Still, it’s always a laugh when Lloyd, after all his efforts, fails to make even a basic sandwich.

5

Robert’s Powers Of Deduction Are Painful

The Inner World

The Inner World is a bizarre point-and-click adventure set in the unique, inside-out world of Asposia, where inhabitants rely on four wind tunnels for their air supply. You play as Robert, a sheltered young man with a flute-like nose who has spent his life in the palace as an apprentice to one of the revered wind monks. Robert’s adventure begins when he leaves the palace to chase after a stolen pigeon, exposing him to the outside world for the very first time.

While we expected Robert to be ignorant of things from the real world, the complete lack of deduction is staggering. When he encounters a prison cell with the inmate’s arms dangling through the window bars, he is completely perplexed by the seemingly disembodied, yet moving, arms until the inmate speaks up.

4

Sora Can’t Count

Kingdom Hearts 3

Sora has faced down darkness, traveled to countless worlds, and fought alongside Goofy and Donald to protect his friends and wield his Keyblade with honor. But for all his grand adventures in Kingdom Hearts, one skill seems curiously absent from his arsenal: basic counting.

It takes all the way to Kingdom Hearts 3 for the secret to be revealed. While brainstorming aboard the Gummi Ship, Donald casually jokes that Sora can’t count. Instead of protesting, Sora brushes it off, claiming it doesn’t matter. It makes you wonder: just what is the quality of education on Destiny Islands?

3

You Can’t Carry An Item In Each Hand

DOOM 3

One of the defining physical traits that sets primates apart from other species is the unique structure of our hands, particularly our opposable thumbs, allowing us to perform a wide range of tasks with precision. However, it seems the protagonist of DOOM 3 missed the memo on multitasking!

As you navigate the dark, ominous corridors filled with lurking dangers, you constantly have to swap between holding a gun and a flashlight. Given that the player character has proven more than capable of wielding a weapon one-handed, it only seems logical to use the other hand to hold the flashlight rather than switching back and forth.

2

Slip On Bird Poop

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty

The Metal Gear series is known for its gritty, battle-hardened characters, and Metal Gear Solid 2 is no exception. In this installment, you play Raiden, a skilled agent with a backstory as a former child soldier, making him tough, agile, and highly trained. However, he has one Achilles’ heel: bird poop.

Much like any cityscape, bird droppings collect on rooftops in the game. When Raiden steps on a slippery patch, he dramatically loses his balance, flailing before landing in an unceremonious heap. What’s even more puzzling, though, is how Raiden manages to avoid smearing any of the white mess onto his dark clothes despite landing flat on his back!

1

The Pokemon Trainer Can’t Run By Himself

Pokemon Ruby And Sapphire

Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire

Systems

Released

March 19, 2003

ESRB

e

Pokemon Gold and Silver were intended to be the final games in the series, but with their roaring success, Nintendo jumped right back into the Pokemon universe and pulled out all the stops to create Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire. From improved graphics, Pokemon abilities, and double battles, Ruby and Sapphire was a revolutionary game that set the precedent for all future Pokemon games. The games also introduced several quality-of-life improvements, including the ability to run, which made traveling across Hoenn a lot easier.

However, you can’t run right from the start. After receiving your starter Pokémon and setting out on your journey, your mom provides a heartfelt going-away gift: a pair of running shoes, complete with instructions. Imagine reaching the age of ten before ever learning how to run!

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