Summary
- SpongeBob SuqarePants received three different Secret Lair drops for Magic: The Gathering.
- The Legends of Bikini Bottom Secret Lair drop reprints Magic commanders into SpongeBob’s world.
- I still don’t know why Plankton is white.
Universes Beyond lets you build Magic: The Gathering decks around some of your favourite external properties. Usually it’s fantasy, like Lord of the Rings, or sci-fi like Doctor Who and Assassin’s Creed, but sometimes we also get something a little different, like SpongeBob SquarePants.
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The Legends of Bikini Bottom Secret Lair drop reimagines some of Magic’s best commanders as residents of Bikini Bottom. If you’ve picked up the drop, you’re likely wondering which commanders from it are the best to build around, and which ones are more destined for the Chum Bucket.
Skinned cards like these count as if they were the original versions when it comes to Commander’s singleton rule. For instance, you can’t run both SpongeBob SquarePants and Jodah, The Unifier in the same deck.
7
Patrick Star
Barktooth Warbeard
This was an add choice for the Legends of Bikini Bottom drop. This is the first time Barktooth Warbeard has ever been reprinted since its debut in 1994’s Legends set, and there’s a good reason for that: it’s kind of pants.
Barktooth costs a whopping seven mana for a 6/5 vanilla creature. There are better Rakdos (red/black) commanders to build around, and even in the deck there are much better creatures you can run in its place. This feels more like a thematic pick to fit Patrick’s obliviousness than something you’d ever want to actually play.
6
Mr. Krabs, Penny Pincher
Charix, The Raging Isle
At least Mr. Krabs gets an actually playable card with Charix, The Raging Isle. Charix is one of the toughest creatures in Magic as a 0/17, and its activated ability quickly lets you turn it into a big beater as well if needed.
Mr. Krabs himself isn’t the kind of card you’d normally build around, but its toughness makes it an all-star in toughness-matters decks. Cards like Arcades, The Strategist or Plagon, Lord of the Beach turn Charix into effectively a 17/17 for very little effort.
5
SpongeBob SquarePants
Jodah, The Unifier
The decision to make SpongeBob a reprint of Jodah, The Unifier from Dominaria United may seem like an odd one at first. SpongeBob is neither a Human nor a Wizard, after all. But this five-colour Commander was chosen specifically to allow you to bring together all the other Legends of Bikini Bottom cards into a single, Spongebobby deck.
SpongeBob “Jodah” SquarePants is a Legends-matter commander, giving each legendary creature a big buff the more of them you play. It also effectively gives every legendary spell you cast from your hand cascade, helping you flood the board with them quickly.
This is likely why Patrick is a seven-mana vanilla legendary creature – to allow SpongeBob to trigger off him into something more interesting.
Unfortunately, there aren’t enough SpongeBob cards to make an entire legends-matter deck themed around it, but this drop is, at the very least, a good start on it.
4
Gary, The Snail
Toxrill, the Corrosive
Making Gary a reprint of Toxrill is perhaps the most controversial decision this drop makes. Toxrill is infamous in Commander as being an oppressive and altogether unfun card to play against, as it can easily wipe the board of your opponents’ creatures every single turn.
However, there’s no denying that if you’re playing a no-holds-barred game where everyone is up for it, Toxrill can be an absolute monster. Having Gary as the face of your deck almost adds insult to injury, as the cutest face on the battlefield is also the one shutting down the whole game.
3
Squidward, Sarcastic Snob
Grazilaxx, Illithid Scholar
Squidward’s first ability may be a great way to protect your creatures in combat, but his real strength is as an unblockable-focused commander. Running cards like Slither Blade, Triton Shorestalker, and Mist-Cloaked Herald guarantees you a ton of card draw, as they can easily slip past and deal combat damage.
Like most cards in this drop, you’re not likely going to be building Squidward as his own commander, as the effect is pretty limited. However, as an inclusion in other decks, like Yuriko, it can make for a nasty source of hand advantage.
2
Plankton, Tiny Tyrant
Skrelv, Defector Mite
It’s not entirely clear why Plankton, a self-serving evil genius, is represented by the colour of community and serving the greater good, but just roll with it. Plankton is Skrelv, a card that caused quite a big stink in Standard when it was printed in Phyrexia: All Will Be One thanks to its ability.
By paying one white or two life and tapping it, Plankton can make any other creature unblockable, give it hexproof from a specific colour, and, worst of all, give it toxic 1. This synergises very nicely with Squidward as a way to get card draw while building up the poison counters, or can protect Gary from any targeted removal by your opponents.
1
Sandy Cheeks, Martial Astronaut
Toski, Bearer Of Secrets
Toski has been an absolute powerhouse ever since it was first printed in Kaldheim. It may have to attack every turn it can, but in exchange you get an indestructible creature and another source of card draw like Squidward’s.
A popular way to build Toski is to equip and enchant it with as many Equipments and Auras as possible, relying on its indestructibility to power through and deal big damage. In this deck, the goal would be to get it out, make it unblockable with Plankton, and buff it up with SpongeBob before kicking your opponents in their Bikini Bottoms.
