Two Point Museum is yet another brilliant game from Two Point Studios, who made Two Point Hospital and Two Point Campus. Now if you add up all the two points in that sentence, how many points do you have? That’s right, eight points total! Alright, let me do a quick word count on how far I’ve gotten in this piece before I can put a bow on it and check out for the rest of the day. Christ. That little? Hoo boy.
Alright, I’m going to need something with a little hot sauce to get those eyeballs. What’s something completely innocuous that also works as a honey trap? I know! I’m going to compare Two Points Museum to Dragon Age: The Veilguard. But, after looking at the two, I’ve got to say it’s a lot more complicated than you think. No, that’s a lie. It’s not more complicated than you think.
Dragon Age: The Veilguard Is The Wrong Kind Of Benchmark
Now, we’ve already been through a long discourse on why Dragon Age: The Veilguard didn’t perform well. I don’t want to relitigate the issues, even if doing so would get a lot of comments on this article and a lot of repeat clicks of people coming back to see if there’s somebody to fight with. Would that boost my numbers? Probably not! Would that help me in any meaningful way? No idea, but also probably not!
All I’m saying is, if I have a paragraph or two in here about why Dragon Age: The Veilguard sold like the opposite of hot cakes, that’s going to bring the noise. Especially if I imply it’s a different reason than the one that confirms a lot of personal beliefs beyond the game itself.
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Maybe you thought its story and choices were shallow and failed to live up to the series’ legacy while its gameplay felt torn between clearly different creative iterations. Maybe you thought it was too woke because of certain quests and the ability to make an ugly person in the character creator. Maybe you thought BioWare has cut off a piece of its own body every time it’s moved away from straight-up roleplaying games that feature actual roleplaying?
Because if you’re that last one, you’re correct. But regardless of anything, I think we can all agree that Two Point Museum does something important that Dragon Age: The Veilguard completely fails at: allowing you to build a fun museum.
A Lack Of Museums – The Veilguard’s Biggest Miss?
Let’s be honest: Dragon Age: The Veilguard was never going to be an easy sell. The series had been dormant for too long and the development of the game had been surrounded by too many resets and layoffs. While Mass Effect still carries a lot of cultural weight, Dragon Age as the BIG FANTASY FRANCHISE has since been replaced in the CRPG pantheon with the likes of Baldur’s Gate 3.
Which is ironic, considering the original Dragon Age itself definitely felt like a spiritual successor to Baldur’s Gate 2. Again, that roleplaying stuff! We loved that! But if we couldn’t have significant roleplaying, at least Dragon Age: The Veilguard could have let us decorate a cute educational facility with dinosaur bones we found on exhibitions that injured our favorite docent. The other docents? Only decent.
When you compare the two games, it’s fascinating just how different their approaches are to building museums. If you haven’t played the Two Point series, imagine RollerCoaster Tycoon and that’s really all you need to imagine. If you haven’t played RollerCoaster Tycoon, what’s wrong with you? Anyway, Two Point Museum is a strategy/simulation game in which you develop and expand a museum by hiring staff to do everything from clean the bathrooms to man the ticket booths to stop thieves.
Through staff effort and funding you unlock new exhibits, decorations, and areas, including gift shops and interactive play areas for kids. Dragon Age: The Veilguard, however, does not allow you to build a museum at all. That seems like a massive oversight and, without any proof or the desire to find any, I can say with certainty that it cost them more than a few sales.
The Stats For Museum Games Cherry Pick Themselves
It’s hard not to judge Dragon Age: The Veilguard negatively when Two Point Museum allows you to add a bathroom if there isn’t enough space for all the guests. Even where the two overlap – like having a more cartoon-like visual style – you have to give it to Two Point Museum because it makes sense when it’s in a game about trying to keep a school bus of kids from being mad at you.
Again, this is only my opinion. Dragon Age: The Veilguard offered an epic quest in a beloved world. But for all that lore and backstory, is there a more epic quest than educating the people in your town in an entertaining way?
Two Point Museum brings so much joy through its entire, sole focus on museum development that you really notice it missing when looking at many games that came out even last year, especially Dragon Age: The Veilguard, a game I’m not just using as an example because I knew someone will click on the headline to get mad. Even if you disagree, just look at the numbers.
Dragon Age: The Veilguard has sold about 1.5 million copies according to a Bloomberg article I didn’t open. Animal Crossing: New Horizons has moved over 47 million copies. Only one had a robust museum-building feature.
To me, it’s common sense: every game should have the ability to display dinosaurs and art for the public good. I don’t want to agree with the bad faith YouTube influencers or internet commenters, but, as they often say, “If you don’t go museum, gamers don’t want to see ‘em.”
And, yes, I came up with this pun several paragraphs ago. And, yes, I then put it at the bottom of the Google doc I wrote this article in as the ender. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to switch back and forth between playing Two Point Museum and Kiosk, a cheap horror game that you’d probably like.
- Released
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October 31, 2024
- ESRB
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M For Mature 17+ // Blood, Nudity, Sexual Themes, Strong Language, Violence