Back in February 2000, I was a university student with a love of building and tycoon games. I’d spend my time erecting Greek, Egyptian and Roman cities, as well as my very own Sim City. At this point, the inhabitants of my digital worlds were mere pixels traveling along my carefully crafted roads, just going about their lives. Then The Sims came along and changed everything.
For the first time, it felt like I could dive into the windows of those Sim City 3000 skyscrapers and see who was inside. I was skilled at building a functioning neighbourhood, but now it was time to play with those who lived within. I remember it fondly, yet I’d not touched the original for years… until now.
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Fire Is The Enemy In The Sims
Aching for a dose of nostalgia in the wake of The Sims 25th anniversary, I wanted to recapture those feelings of awe I remember from the first time I played, way back at launch. The re-releases of The Sims and The Sims 2 arrived just in time to scratch that itch.
These days we have it easy. Sims no longer get sad because you don’t have enough artwork on the walls, or you left a plate on the counter. No one dies without warning because they didn’t eat for eight hours, and most importantly, fire safety has considerably improved. Back then, it was a very different experience.
My overview of the re-releases starts with the tale of a fire in the Goths’ kitchen. This was my first fire, but far from my last. I also burnt three bushes, two Sims, and one grill in a small incident involving some burgers, and then there was what I have named Ashgate.
I’d just created and furnished a brand-new house, complete with newly minted Sims. I wanted to take some screenshots and then start having babies – for science of course. I hit pause and tabbed out of my game to check my screenshots. When I tabbed back in, all of three minutes later, I was greeted by a room full of ash with an urn in the centre. It seemed that I had, in fact, failed to hit pause, and the aftermath was catastrophic. Only the fridge survived.
The first thing you buy in The Sims should be a smoke alarm, even if you don’t have a stove yet. It’s that important.
A fire had taken out my entire kitchen: appliances, counters, the trash can, even the dining table and chairs off to one side. Everything was reduced to ash, along with my entire household, who presumably had tried to save their 1990s formica table.
My colleague Gabrielle Castania wrote about how brutal playing this game is and the evidence was right in front of me. The Sims was Dark Souls before Dark Souls, but there’s also a huge amount to love about the retro technology, severe difficulty level, and furniture catalogue that looks like Walmart after a new series of Pokemon cards just went on sale.
The Sims Is A Relic Of A Simpler Time
As you admire the chunky CRT television and monitors, as well as the phones that have to be attached to the wall, you have to remember that this technology, now considered practically pre-historic, is the technology the game was built on, quite literally.
In real terms, this means that Sims are incredibly stupid. Even with full autonomy on, they don’t seem to understand how to make smart choices. I left Betty Newbie to talk to Mortimer Goth while Bob cooked some food, and she made an enemy out of him in 12 minutes. Turns out she’s even more socially inept than I am.
You can’t trust your Sims, the world has a tendency to burn, and if you get too sad then a freaky clown from a painting will pay you a visit. It’s this last part which is just one of the reasons why The Sims is still an enjoyable experience today – as long as you don’t look the tragic clown in the eyes.
If you can survive the everyday, mostly by missing a day of work and then hoping stupidity doesn’t stop you from missing it by accident the next day, you’ll find pure joy in the randomness of The Sims.
Watch out for bears. I found one eating cake from my trash can at 3am, before doing a little dance and then wandering off.
Since the expansion packs are included, you get to experience all their chaotic glory. Open up the mysterious box left on your doorstep to discover the joy of a portable hole. Visit Vicki Vampiress, Faerie Queen Mara, and Bonehilda. Have a birthday cake which houses scantily clad dancers. Go on holiday and befriend a yeti. You can even have a skydiving simulator in your backyard.
For every sensible option, like pursuing a career or having a family, there’s an equally bizarre one, like having a pet dragon or erasing a child from existence by sending them to military school for all eternity. All while Avril Lavigne, Marilyn Monroe, and Jon Bon Jovi Sims socialise together in the studio lot.
Once you’ve mastered the art of survival, then the world is your pet iguana. Just watch out for the guinea pigs. If they get too sad, then they’ll send a plague upon your household and this one is pretty Biblical.
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