Magnets: how do they work? Does anyone even know? I’ve been working with magnets since the day I brought home my first macaroni art and slapped it on the fridge. I remember how mystified I was by the attractive power of magnets back then, at a mere 15 years old. I’m still just as mystified to this day.
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Magnets are cool, and possibly magic, but let’s be honest, they’re not the most reliable things in the world. We’ve all had magnets fail on us, sometimes to catastrophic effect. Only hours after displaying my macaroni masterpiece, someone slammed the refrigerator door shut, causing my priceless art to crash to the floor. Broken pasta, broken dreams.
Even now, magnets are still hit or miss. More recently, my magnetic Pop Socket disconnected from the back of my phone, causing my $1600 Pixel Fold to tumble and fall onto the mean streets of Seattle, Washington. The screen shattered, and I swore I’d never trust a magnet with something so valuable ever again.
Switch 2, Powered By Magnets
That was just a few days before Nintendo revealed it has reengineering the Joy-Cons for the Switch 2 by replacing the rail system with a magnetic connection. Maybe I have especially bad luck with magnets, but I can’t be the only one worried about this, right?
I get why the Joy-Cons needed a redesign. The first time I ever used a Switch I felt a little uneasy about the rail system. The less-than-smooth attaching of Joy-Con to Switch always sets my teeth on edge, and I’m always afraid I’m going to damage the console or get something stuck.
The metal-on-metal connection causes unnecessary wear and tear, and I’ve had connection issues with at least one side on all three of my Switches. If for no other reason, the Switch 2 needs to be an evolution of the Switch, so changing up the way the Joy-Cons connect is an obvious place to start.
But magnets? Really? The things Walt and Jesse used to break a bunch of computers in a police evidence locker? The thing that, need I remind you, destroyed any hope I ever had of becoming a famous macaroni artist? I don’t know how I’m supposed to trust mysterious attracting rocks to keep my Joy-Cons attached to my Switch 2, especially after all the trouble we’ve had with the original Joy-Cons.
The Power Of Attraction
Clearly, I’m not an expert. I know there are lots of different kinds of magnets, including some that are safe to be near little computers like phones and Nintendos. I also know there’s some super strong magnets out there that can hold train cars together and keep Wolverine suspended mid-air. But to be honest, I don’t think I can trust whatever magnets Nintendo is putting in 100 million Switch 2s to make sure my Joy-Cons aren’t going to pop off, causing my Switch to fall 3,000 feet out of a hot air balloon (my favorite place to play Kirby’s Dream Buffet).
This is going to be a tricky one. If the magnets are too weak they won’t hold a connection, but if the magnets are too strong then millions of kids are going to get their little fingers pinched. You thought stick drift was a scandal, wait until Nintendo is fielding thousands of complaints from angry parents of kids with purple blisters on their pinkies.
Hopefully, like the OG Switch, there’s some kind of button/latch that holds the Joy-Cons in place, as a redundancy for the magnets should they fail (which all magnets eventually do). I’d hate for my beautiful new Switch 2 to suffer the same fate as my Pixel Fold and my macaroni art. You’ve never seen such a breathtaking arrangement of noodles, and now I guess you never will.
Nintendo Switch 2
The Nintendo Switch 2 is the successor to Nintendo Switch, scheduled for release in 2025. Confirmed as backwards compatible, it will play both physical and digital Nintendo Switch games. A full reveal is pencilled in for April 2, 2025.