Which Pokemon do you hate the most? For me, it’s Seismitoad. There’s no reason for it to look like that. TheGamer’s Editor-in-Chief Stacey Henley hates Delibird, proving that it’s possible to have a successful career even with completely wrong opinions.
I imagine some of you might say Trubbish (wrong, it’s cute), competitive players might say Incineroar (I get it), and some of you might say something extremely random like Bruxish because it reminds you of your ex (wrong again, great design).
Recently, however, I’ve found a new Pokemon to hate. A Pokemon I once loved. The first Pokemon that I, and many others, ever found as a shiny. The Pokemon mentioned in the headline of this article.
My Problem With Gyarados In Pokemon TCG Pocket
Gyarados. This wannabe dragon is ruining my Pokemon TCG Pocket experience. It’s not because it’s oppressive in battle like Mewtwo. It’s not even because I don’t like the art, because it looks pretty cool. It’s because, whatever I do, I can’t pack this stupid beast.
I’m just two cards away from completing Genetic Apex. Two regular cards, that is, I’m nowhere near done with all the alt arts and I don’t have a single gold card in my 2,000-strong collection. I’m a (mostly) free-to-play player, so I’ve made peace with this. But that’s besides the point. Those two cards are Exeggutor ex and Gyarados. Regular Gyarados. Not the full art, which I have two of. Not any special version. Just the big standard Gyarados.
I finally got Gloom, by the way.
More recently, I’ve stopped chasing Gyarados to open the Mythical Island expansion. At first I wasn’t going to use any of my saved hourglasses, but then I realised that the nature of this job is writing about the best cards, and I could hardly write about the brutal Celebi ex and Serperior deck without testing it out first.
I’m A Pack Points Hoarder
So, 300 hourglasses and 120 (free) gold later, I nearly completed this mini-expansion. Again, special cards excluded. Again, I’m two cards away. Again, one of those cards is Gyarados. It’s joined by Raichu this time, but whatever I do, I can’t reel it in.
If I was fishing in the wrong spot in Genetic Apex because of that alt art Gengar in the Mewtwo packs, then I have no excuse with Mythical Island. There is just one pack to pull from. That one pack has given me three alt art Dedenne. And yet it has given me not a single Gyarados. And it infuriates me.
To those of you shouting the words “pack points” over and over at your phone, first of all: take a deep breath. You’re scaring the old lady next to you on the train. And I know I could use these pity points on the cards I need to complete my collection, but it feels like a waste. Why waste 150 precious points on Gyarados when I could save them towards the stunning alt art Gengar that I’ve been chasing? Sure, it costs eight times as much and I’m not even actively pulling Genetic Apex any more, but it feels wasteful to spend this precious commodity on a far more common card.
The Mythical Island version is an ex, which costs a whopping 500 pack points, an even more ridiculous ask. But the longer I go on opening packs and carefully selecting Wonder Picks, the more tempted I am to spend my points on a useless card that will finish my collection.
Gyarados is mocking me now. Its gaping maw has morphed into a hideous grin. Its roar is laughter. And yet I can’t land it, whatever I do. Gyarados is the bane of my existence, the last piece for my collections.
When trading is released next month, I ask, nay beg, of you, dear reader, to trade me a Gyarados. I’ll give you anything. Take my immersive rare Celebi ex, take my flaired-up Wheezing from my favourite deck. Heck, take my 18 Psyduck if you want them. But please, I need your Gyarados. Before it drives me completely mad.
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Your Pokemon Pocket Account Could Be Suspended If You Have An Offensive Username
Pokemon has finally promised to take action against Pocket players with offensive usernames.