Console Christmases are the best. If you grew up gaming (or have ever watched the “NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOUURR! OH MY GODDD!” kid celebrate like he won the Super Bowl) you know holidays that fall after the release of an exciting new console are unparalleled.
But it can also be perilous. If your parents are strapped for cash, they might not have the funds to splash out on a $300+ gift for just one of their kids. They might even tell you they can’t afford it ahead of time to manage your expectations. Then again, they might also tell you that as a red herring to get you off their trail. If it is a red herring, it means double the excitement when you find out you actually got the gift you wanted. If it’s not, it means double the disappointment because you let yourself think your parents were pulling a Jedi mind trick.
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Christmas 2006 And The Dawn Of The Revolution
Heading into Christmas 2006, that was the exact position I found myself in. I’d been following the Wii’s pre-release rollout and its November launch closely in the pages of the now discontinued Nintendo Power magazine.
That, of course, meant coping with the downgrade from the working title Revolution (which my 12-year-old self thought was badass) to the Wii (which that same sixth grader thought was bizarrely childish).
I marveled at all the impossible-seeming details that came out about this new console. This wasn’t an entirely new experience for me — the DS reveal had blown my mind wide open two years earlier — but the Wii was also launching with a new game in my favorite series: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Getting to play a new 3D Zelda, which had been freshly minted with a Nintendo Power 9.5/10, was exciting enough on its own.
But when you threw in other launch games like Wii Sports, Excite Truck, Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz, and Rayman Raving Rabbids, all of which boasted these revolutionary motion controls, my hype ascended to celestial levels. If I got one, or dare I dream it, two of those games, it would make my life.
So I did what any kid would do. I pestered my parents. I worked the Wii into every possible conversation. I read Nintendo Power around them and left the magazine open to pictures of the Wii. Okay, I don’t remember if I actually did that last one. The main thing I did was to be persistently annoying because, as a kid, being so irritating that your parents worry about what will happen if they don’t give you what you want is the primary tool at your disposal. That’s the benefit of not having developed a shame gland yet.
What’s In The Box?!
So, when Christmas came around, my parents knew exactly what I wanted. Christmas morning has always been a slow affair in my house (and that’s especially true now that my sister and her husband have four kids). We open stockings, we eat a breakfast casserole, then we get onto the presents. The suspense was unbearable, and my parents made it worse by giving me multiple pairs of socks and sweaters to open.
There was one big box under the tree and, as the morning wore on, the more it began to hold all my hopes. Could that be the Wii? And if it is, why aren’t there any games for it? Would they really give me a new console with nothing to play on it? Finally, it was time for the big box. I set it on my lap. Eyes closed, I slowly pulled back the paper. I opened my eyes and was greeted by… the Sanyo logo. A boombox!? All this build-up for a boombox?
Despair in my heart, I turned to my mom. “A stereo?” I asked, holding back tears. “Looks like it,” she said with a smirk that felt cruel. Barely summoning the will to go on, I opened the box. And, to my surprise, there was no stereo inside. There was — could it be? — a Wii? And multiple games? Including Twilight Princess!
Reader, at that moment, I went full Nintendo 64 kid. My parents had trolled me.
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