There Are 12 New Baldur’s Gate 3 Subclasses And I Have 12 New Characters To Make

So far, I’ve been able to hold myself back from diving headfirst into Baldur’s Gate 3 again by reminding myself that I have too many other games to finish. I can’t justify spending over 100 hours on something I’ve already finished that also launched last year. But I’ve thought about it. A lot. And here Larian is, announcing yet more reasons for me to jump back into the fold.

Specifically, it’s announced 13 reasons why (sorry). One reason is a photo mode, which is huge for me – Baldur’s Gate 3 is a very beautiful game, and I want to take pictures of everything. I especially want to take weird, unsettling photos of every character. The other 12 reasons are each of the subclasses being added to the game.

There’s a subclass being added for every existing class, and god help me, I want to make a different character for every single one of them and roleplay to my heart’s content. I don’t actually have the time for that, though, so I’m going to write them here and hope this exorcises the demon Larian has let loose in my brain. Damn you, Larian.

Bard: College of Glamour

You won’t see a lot of people playing Bards in Baldur’s Gate 3, because while they’re the most fun to play, they’re pretty much dead weight in combat. College of Glamour is actually a pretty good subclass for party support. Once you get the Mantle of Inspiration ability at level three, you’ll actually be able to carry your own weight by boosting your allies’ hit points and charming enemies. Mantle of Majesty at level six lets you command charmed enemies, making you actually… useful? Imagine. The world of Bards has opened up to us.

I will be making Charli XCX. She drinks a lot, is one of the most enthralling performers in the world, and is bratty to a fault, which means she’s chill and apathetic until you disrespect her.

Barbarian: Path of Giants

This is exactly what it sounds like – you are absolutely gigantic, no spells or dubious potions necessary. With the Giant’s Rage passive, you become stronger and bigger, letting you fling your enemies across the battlefield if you so please. I will make a giant himbo who throws temper tantrums when egged on. Think Shaq.

Cleric: Death Domain

Hello, you’re telling me I can make a necromancer now? I’m already running to make yet another goth babe with a specialisation in necrotic damage. Her favourite trick is turning dead bodies into bombs that damage nearby enemies. She’s kinda like Raven from Teen Titans, in my head. Wears a lot of purple. Doesn’t care about anything. Gets really mad sometimes.

Druid: Circle of Stars

These Druids take Starry Forms for their power and look to the stars for answers, so I’m immediately imagining an Archer form hippie. She’s dreamy, silver-haired, kinda stupid but in a cute way. She deals damage from afar with astral arrows, but you have to get her to lock in first, because she’s always lost in her thoughts.

Paladin: Oath of the Crown

This Paladin is basically a narc, because he upholds the law. Since he’s a fantasy cop, he’s going to be the most annoying one history has ever seen. I’m picturing a big, blonde, pedantic loser.

Fighter: Arcane Archer

This fighter uses magic and arrows, so I’m picturing the goddess Athena. Asexual, viciously intelligent, and ruthless. She has a strong sense of right and wrong, and she’ll punish you as she sees fit. She takes no prisoners.

Monk: Drunken Master

This guy recovers his Ki points by chugging beer, which is one of the most awesome things I’ve ever heard. He can also make his enemies drunk with Intoxicating Strike, which is somehow even more awesome. I’m picturing this guy – just a chill guy who wants you to have a beer or six with him.

Ranger: Swarmkeeper

The Swarmkeeper uses deadly swarms of various creatures in combat, like jellyfish (lightning damage), moths (psychic damage – I’m afraid of insects, so yes, absolutely), and bees (piercing damage). They also let you teleport, for some reason?

I think I’d make Roach Coach from Powerpuff Girls. He thinks that people are the worst and should be reigned over by bugs, but the next best option is for him to be in charge. This guy tries to collude with the Netherbrain, for sure.

Rogue: Swashbuckler

This is basically a pirate. I am making Goro Majima.

Sorcerer: Shadow Magic

A Shadow Magic Sorcerer is more or less a magic assassin. They have Superior Darkvision and can Shadow Walk between places of dim light or darkness. I’m making Ezio Auditore, the best Assassin’s Creed character and my favourite assassin of all time. Seems apt. This guy gets laid and is also on a revenge mission. He says ‘requiescat in pace’ after every kill – he will be saying this a lot.

Note: This subclass can also use Strength of the Grave to prevent being downed, which is great for Honour Mode runs.

Warlock: Hexblade

These warlocks made a pact with an entity from the Shadowfell, the Plane of Shadow, which allows them to manifest magical weapons. Larian’s rundown says you can “Curse your enemies and force their souls to do your bidding” and raise spirits from enemy corpses for ten turns to deal necrotic damage and rip away chunks of your enemy’s soul to heal your warlock. It’s very metal. I would therefore make one of the women from Babymetal, who are insanely cool. She would be a total sweetheart.

Wizard: Bladesinging

The last subclass is Bladesinging, which merges swords and magic. I’d make The Bride from Kill Bill, because being able to kill a man with a punch is basically magic anyway.