I’m going to need you to take my word for it that I like video games. The proof might be in the hundreds of columns or the decades of spending money that ensures I’ll never own a house or the experience of actually working on games. But that might be it! I did a podcast last week – a huge brag if there ever was one – and one of the hosts was talking about Sonic Adventure.
I said I loved the game and then realized with complete horror that I probably could not answer many follow up questions because I don’t remember a damn thing. In fact, I realized I don’t remember anything about what I’ve played.
I Remember (Almost) Nothing About The Video Games I’ve Played
Okay, maybe ‘anything’ is a bit dramatic. But you clicked the headline! Still, it’s wild how little I remember about games I played years ago. Some classics are complete voids of remembrance. The thing is, I played Sonic Adventure on the Dreamcast when it was released! I beat the game. But I swear to god I’ve got nothing for you on it.
You could tell me that Sonic decides to become an insurance fraud investigator and I’d be like, “That doesn’t sound right, but I’m probably wrong.” It’s just not there. Oh, I remember having a good time! I’ve purchased the game again since then and played a few hours here or there, but past that – total blank.
Nor does this have to do with quality or preference. The Final Fantasy series is one of my favorites of all time. And, yeah, the games I’ve played a lot – the first one, 6, 7, 9 – I remember pretty well. Got it! Those are in there as long as people don’t ask too many questions about late game quests. But there are Final Fantasy games I absolutely loved and do not remember most things about. Final Fantasy Tactics? Brilliant! Thunder God Cid! Religion! It’s all Memento otherwise.
I recently re-played the remaster of Final Fantasy 4 and realized that outside of the broadest strokes, I had next to nothing in my noggin about the thing. If you asked me to describe the story before I replayed the game, I’d say it was a dark knight becomes a paladin who then meets dwarves and then goes to the moon to fight someone for a reason. That’s all kinda true but if you said “name a town,” I’d be like, “Mysidia?” and then you’d be like, “Okay, name a town other than the one that’s been in a bunch of the games.” No answer.
This isn’t the worst problem to have. I really liked experiencing everything I forgot in Final Fantasy 4. It’s cool to experience something both again and anew in a weird, slightly worrying way. But at the same time, it really does feel like so many people can remember everything about games they played decades ago! Like, some of you folks can reference obscure deep cut Skyrim characters and their exact daily patterns. It makes me sad that I can’t!
I can certainly pull random things from my memory, but I feel like I remember more facts about games than I do information about what happens in the games themselves. It obviously does have a lot to do with playing the same game over and over. Sonic fans likely know Sonic Adventure better than me because they’ve finished it more than once since 1999. Yet I still feel like a phony. It’s like in a movie when someone lies about having a girlfriend in Canada.
Again, this isn’t a big issue. Nobody’s hurt by it. Just really embarrassed. I mostly play single-player games where the characters are programmed and written to think I’m a competent person. And it’s not hard to read a wiki to catch up on the finer details of a game.
However, it’s odd that I’ve spent hundreds of hours playing StarCraft, but could maybe tell you two things that happen over the course of the solo campaign. It’s annoying that I can remember most of Chrono Trigger but next to nothing about Chrono Cross – even after getting halfway through the remaster. My brain has next to no record of Grand Theft Auto 4 outside of “depressing world” and “even more depressing comedy club.” I took days off of work to play that! There were no distractions!
Some of you folks can reference obscure deep cut Skyrim characters and their exact daily patterns. It makes me sad that I can’t!
It’s not like this is completely limited to games either. I used to say Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood was one of my favorite novels. All I remember now is that someone is named Snowman. I think. I’m not going to look it up. I couldn’t tell you anything that happens in The Sopranos outside of the big moments that everyone talks about. Hell, The Matrix Resurrections came out recently and… I dunno. An intense coffee shop scene? A train? Neil Patrick Harris?
Like I said, one of the keys here is reading, watching, and playing things more than once. I really do get that. And I also get it’s stupid to complain about feeling like the Men in Black use a neuralyzer on me five to six months after I finish anything. Everyone’s got far worse problems, and the gaming industry has far worse issues. It’s just a little frustrating. And, to be clear, it is on me. It’s clearly a skill issue that’s my fault. I’ve even begun keeping notebooks to help me remember the biggest moments of the games I play – although God help me if later on I have to figure out what the hell I was talking about.
Maybe I need to stop stressing over what I do and don’t remember for the sake of public approval and just have a good time. Maybe I need to be more present and focused when experiencing art. Maybe my brain is just broken. Either way, I should really play Sonic Adventure again.
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