Hey Xbox players, I’m Joel Rydholm from Coffee Stain Publishing, one of the original developers on 2014’s Goat Simulator, and producer on Goat Simulator: Remastered! 10 years ago, we unleashed Pilgor into the world, a chaotic she-goat with a penchant for destruction, and now we’re bringing her back to run free amongst a new generation of goat-lovers.
Goat Simulator: Remastered launches today for Xbox Series X|S, Windows PC, and with Game Pass, and brings all the fun, mayhem, and beloved bugs from the original game, while introducing a handful of new features for the most complete Goat Simulator experience yet (excluding Goat Simulator 3)!
Whether you’re new to Goat Simulator or riding the nostalgia wave, there are loads of wacky things to discover and enjoy, so buckle up , join the herd, and get ready for an adventure unlike any other (except, well, Goat Simulator 3).
If you’re still unconvinced, I have 7 reasons why you should jump straight into our udderly weird game today.
A Paradise of Parody
Goat Simulator as a series thrives on parody, and one of my personal favourite examples of this is the “Just Around the Corner” escort quest in Goat MMO, where players have to lead McSlowPants to a specific destination. Yes, that is his legal name.
We’ve all experienced our fair share of boring video game escort quests, where the NPC you’re supposed to be leading someone is as slow as a slug. So, we took this concept and made it a little more exciting by letting players expedite the process through non-stop headbutting, dragging McSlowPants along the ground, or even placing him into the in-game inventory and “carrying” him to the destination.
The Wildest Mutations Known to Man and Goat
Goat Simulator lets you play as all kinds of different goats, including a tall goat (that definitely isn’t just a giraffe), a shopping cart goat (pretty sure this is literally just a shopping cart), and even a goat goat – talk about getting the full Goat Simulator experience!
With a handy mutator menu that’s been introduced as part of the remaster, you can now change your appearance on the fly, and enjoy playing as all manner of goats, goat-like creatures, and not-so-goat-like creatures, whenever you want!
Easter Eggs Galore
The Goat Simulator series has about as many references and easter eggs crammed into it as you could ever want, and Goat Simulator: Remastered is no different. One of my favourite references is an entire quest that takes players on a mysterious journey to find the Turdis, a portable toilet that looks suspiciously like a certain famous blue police box.
Once headbutted, the Turdis will disappear and show up at various locations around the map, travelling through space (and time) in true sci-fi fashion.
For any Sanctum fans, there’s also a super niche reference in the Payday DLC quest where you have to embark on a quest to steal a copy of Sanctum 3 (which does not exist… at least not yet) and upload it to the pirate ship mainframe – you’ll have to try it for yourself to see what happens though!
Every Original DLC
If you ever missed out on any of the old Goat Simulator DLC packs on PC, then you’re in luck, because all 5 come packaged with Goat Simulator: Remastered for you to enjoy. There’s even an additional DLC pack included that was originally exclusive to Goat Simulator Mobile – can you baaa-lieve it?
From the medieval mayhem of Goat MMO to the hilarious heists of PAYDAY, know that you’re in for a wild ride.
Goat MMO Simulator
While every DLC in Goat Simulator: Remastered has fun elements and numerous quirks, my personal favourite is Goat MMO Simulator. Not only was it incredibly fun to develop, but it has some of the silliest, wildest, and most unhinged jokes incorporated into it. There are wandering NPCs exclaiming about their lost butter, elves asking you to embark on the important quest of licking 10,000 things, demons being spawn camped by a pack of nerdy goats, a man that asks you for assistance in inflating his knee so he can reach the skies, and an obligatory cow level (if you know you know).
Discover Things You May Have Missed the First Time Around
Goat Simulator has a lot crammed into it, and there’s a good chance if you played it back in 2014 that you didn’t experience absolutely everything. There are tons of hidden secrets and niche mechanics that few know about, and with your newfound gaming skills from the last 10 years, you’ll no doubt discover more than before!
As an example, the pentagram symbol from the base game is a key component in more than one quest, which not a lot of players realised. And what’s better is that there are some fun interactions built into the game if you decide to bring other objects to the symbol instead of those poor NPCs – I won’t spoil things too much, but definitely give it a go and see what you find!
You Can Be a Goat
Did I mention that you get to play as a goat? Goat Simulator: Remastered is all about embracing the goat lifestyle, which means headbutting everything you see, licking random things, and screaming at passers-by, and just generally causing havoc.
If that sounds like something you’ve always wanted to do, then great! Because that’s pretty much what this game is about – and let me tell you, it’s a lot of fun. Some would say it’s even the most “goated” way of life.
Goat Simulator: Remastered is available today for Xbox Series X|S, Windows PC, and with Game Pass.