Nintendo Keeps Announcing Things That Aren’t The Switch 2

Where the hell is the Switch 2, folks? It’s the last day of October and Nintendo still hasn’t revealed the one thing every fan is waiting for. Instead, we’ve gotten almost everything else the company could think of, from random ports of cult Wii U games to literal alarm clocks. What else could the gaming giant throw at fans while it continues running out the clock on a new console announcement in 2024?

The signs were there, from mysterious leakers to the company’s own president. “We will make an announcement about the successor to Nintendo Switch within this fiscal year,” Shuntaro Furukawa tweeted back in May. Technically, Nintendo’s fiscal year runs until March 31, but my god, man! Give us a single image of the hardware, an official name, anything! Five months later, fans have survived heart-stopping levels of hype ever since the company ditched its regular September Nintendo Direct and chatter from developers and others about an imminent announcement reached a fever pitch.

With all eyes on the mustachioed plumber, the console manufacturer decided on a different course of action. Instead of revealing the Switch 2, Nintendo announced Alarmo, a $100 device that uses video-game sounds to get you out of bed, at least if you’re single. We got a mysterious online playtest announcement that turned out to be for a weird MMO. On a random Tuesday, Nintendo decided to drop the news that niche Wii U exclusive Xenoblade Chronicles X would all of a sudden, 10 years later, arrive on Switch next spring. And then last night the company busted out even more news: Nintendo music now has a standalone app for smartphone listening as part of Switch Online.

It now feels like time is running out for Nintendo to actually reveal the Switch 2 before the end of 2024. Maybe there’s a small pocket of time in November before the holiday, but why would the company decide to steal thunder from Mario & Luigi: Brothership or its big holiday push to help sell another 10 million more Switches this year. Maybe Nintendo just does not give a fuck anymore, confident in the knowledge that, whenever it chooses to announce its next console, the news will bend the attention economy to its will no matter the manner or timing in which it unfolds. Or maybe this means we really aren’t getting a Switch 2 reveal before mid-January after the holiday break.

In the meantime, here are nine more things I would be less shocked to see Nintendo announce between now and then that aren’t a Switch 2.